Today has been a horrible day for me.

Firstly, I woke up early, even though i was able to finally sleep in late. It was upsetting, but i think i can live through that. For these past two days, i haven't been able to eat properly. I just don't feel hungry at all. Usually, i eat at least on piece of toast and drink tea but recently, i've only had tea and i am never hungry for lunch or dinner. Of course, i do eat something because i know i need the energy. It may sound really small, but to me, it is pretty bad because usually i am pretty hungry after school and at dinner.

I was upstairs in the study room after breakfast, sitting at my computer, listening to music, chatting to a friend and reading a story online. Suddenly, my grandma called me. I replied back 'What?' and she goes 'i fell down' (all in chinese of course). I quickly raced down the stairs. She was on the floor. She had mopped the floor earlier and had forgot about it and when she passed by to hang up the washing, she had slipped on it. Thankfully she didn't fall down too hard and went down on her knees. But gosh, it was so frightening. Something bad could've happened (touch wood). This isn't the first time she has slipped and thankfully, each time, she had managed to only minorly injure herself. But for an old person like her, it is not very good.

I had made plans to go city with Thuy, Karin and Ken to the city. But i was also worried about my grandma. Despite the fall, she had insisted on still going to my auntie's place, buying grocery and going to the bank on the way, all by herself. I just didn't have the heart to let her go by herself, especially since she was limping a little. So i decided to cancel on my friends and accompany my grandma.

On the bus trip, i was ripped off 50cents because the bus driver had miss counted the money but i only noticed afterwards when my grandma had asked me where the change was. But this is really a minor problem of my horrible day.

So we went to buy groceries that my grandma had been asked to buy from my auntie. And my grandma suggested that maybe i could just meet my friends later. So i called up Thuy and told her that i could still come and that i would meet them in the city.

We went to the bank and then to the train station, where i bought a return ticket to Tempe. I had to slowly walk down the stairs with my grandma because she was sorta limping her way down. And we waited fro 21 minutes for a train to come. At Tempe, we had to go up and down some flights of stairs which was not good for my grandma as her leg was still hurting. Then we had to walk to get to my auntie's house. When we were a little past halfway there, my uncle drove by, saw us and stopped. They picked us up and drove us the rest of the way to my auntie's house. They dropped me off at Sydenham station first. Turns out i didn't need the return ticket to Tempe because there were no gates at Tempe. So i caught the train to Central where i met up with Thuy, Karin and Ken.

Let me just say, it was a very awkward situation. Ken would just not talk at all and we would try to talk and just end up with awkward silences. At capitol, it took us a while to choose a photo booth because no one wanted to decided which booth to take it in. Then, the pictures were just plain awkward. Ken had exchanged, i think, a 20 note for all these one dollar coins and as we were going out of the booth to go to the decorating section, he didn't take then and going karin gave them to me to hold for now. I kept offering to hand them back to him, but he kept asking me to 'hold it for him'. Now i have nothing against him, but i somehow, think that the implied message of that was to just keep it. And hey, it's free money..i think. But i'm not that kind of girl. I just don't accept money from anyone, even my friends unless they owed me so i would be very offended if he was implying that i keep the money. Eventually, after continuously asking (only a couple, i'm exaggerating), i gave up and gave the coins to karin. Let me just get something straight. If i had a boyfriend, i would be very grateful when he sometimes paid for me. But, i don't expect him to pay for me every time. I don't want to be those kind of people who just use their boyfriends so that they can pay for everything i want. If i want something, i should get it with my own money or not get it at all. I don't want to have to rely on my boyfriend to pay for everything that i want. Ok..glad i got that straight.

Anyways, being around Ken was rather awkward. I mean, when i was alone with Steven that one time, it wasn't even as awkward as it was when all 3 of us were with him. So when we met up with Phoebe and her boyfriend to go and play snooker, me and thuy decided to ditch karin and go somewhere else. Karin seemed genuinely disappointed but me and thuy just couldn't take the awkwardness any longer.

We went to get the infamous fish balls which were as yummy as always! And then we went back home. I missed the bus by the time i arrived back at hurstville so i walked home, even though my feet were sorta starting to hurt. I came home to a grumpy dad who had found out about my grandma falling down.

It was okay for a while. Even though i was tired, i watched 'Pursuit of Happyness' with my sister.

Hell broke lose when my grandma came home. My dad just started arguing non-stop. Scolding grandma for not being careful, telling us that we shouldn't leave the bathroom floor wet and then just talking about anything really. He was so freaking annoying! All i wanted to do to him was say in a really calm voice "Can you shut up! It's not grandma's fault that she fell over. It was an ACCIDENT. She didn't mean for it to happen so stop scolding her like it was. Neither was it any of our fault so don't blame us either. All you have been doing since grandma came home is nag, nag and nag. It's not helping at all! You are just putting all of us in very bad moods and you are just making the situation worse. So can you please shut up!" Of course, i said none of this and just quietly fumed.

So what was suppose to be an alright day, albeit awkward as we all know it would be, turned out to be hell.

I really can't breathe anymore. Every breath i take leaves me tired and more lifeless than ever. I feel as if i am suffocating. Why can't i be happy? Don't i deserve to be happy?

Please, let my grandma be safe. I know that i had just asked for happiness, but i would give it all away if it meant that my grandma would be safe and healthy. Just please, please let her be okay.

~Aurora