Hello hello!
Today officially marks the start of examinations! First off: Maths!
Now, I wasn't too worried about this one because I like maths and more so because it doesn't really count coz I am doing 4 unit and this is only for the 4 unit people who might drop down, and that would definitely not be me.
But it's sad, coz it marks the start of the exams. Tomorrow's exam is English and I am absolutely terrified because as you all know from my previous post, I haven't exactly been doing as well as I would like in English. Plus, the uncertainty of what the questions would be and what the stimulus we were given is going to be used for is really killing me! I can't even write a proper feature article for heaven's sake! I really really hope it's not a feature article!!
Anyways, to look on the positive side, the start of exams also means that I am one step closer to the end of exams! Optimistic isn't it? Haha, but it's true. And I cannot wait till it is over so I can devotedly focus on Christmas and preparing all the presents and start writing all the Christmas cards!! I'm a busy busy bee :D
I should probably go now, since I haven't exactly done any studying for english. I have been studying everything but english which is not exactly good considering my english exam IS tomorrow. Haha..okay
I shall post soon :):)
Once again, good luck!
~Aurora
Monday, November 29, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Update #3
Hello hello!
This probably doesn't really mean much but...
This is my 100th post!
Haha...I can't believe I've finally reached it. But hey, this doesn't really mean I'll be posting anything special in this post. It'll just be me rambling on about the discontents of my life. Keke..sorry if I got your hopes up ;)
So...my exams are coming up. Of course, I am absolutely petrified. Thinking about this past 2 weeks, staying after school to study. You would think I got a lot done but that is totally not the case. It was more of a maths session more than anything else and apart from a pretty effective business session one time, I have done nothing else. And it frustrates me to no end because I have wasted all this time and I've done practically nothing.
This time round, the exams are not like the ones I had previously done. These exams are the first ones that really count towards my HSC, towards my future and that really really scares the wits out of me.
Yesterday night, while laying in bed listening to some sad piano music (yes, I know it probably sounds very emo, but face it, that's my life :P), I started to think of what will happen to me in these exams. I really needed to kick myself in the ass for being so lazy all this time when I could've been doing some very productive things but I also knew that that would had no effect on me whatsoever and there was really no point in berating myself over something that I could not go back and fix. So instead, I made a vow to myself that I must start studying from the next day, which is today. And no, just because I am here right now writing a post, it does not mean that I have already given up on that vow. I will stick to it!
Too many times, I have made promises to myself that I never seem to be able to keep and time and time again I feel such disappointment with myself. This time, those feeling will not occur because I plan to keep my vow no matter what.
It was also yesterday and, actually, the past few weeks that I realised how important believing yourself really is. It is only through that strong belief that you have in yourself that you are able to gather up the confidence and thus, do well. Low self-esteem can really affect a person. And I know that everyone is probably aware of that, but to me, I realised just how big an impact one's self confidence can be.
Knowing me, you all should know that I have very bad self-esteem. I was recently talking to me friend as we were walking back from a study session and I was telling her about my low self-esteem.
I tend to be very harsh on myself, always setting really high goals that I must achieve. And while most of them time I don't achieve them, there are actually times that I do. And sometimes I really surprise myself at my ability to attain high results. And maybe it's because it's too surprising, but I overlook those excellent results and instead, I focus on the bad ones and just look down on myself. I guess, I can't really accept that I am smart no matter how many times people tell me I am and no matter how good my results are. Because tattooed to my heart, my mind are the words:
You are not smart
No matter how many times I prove to myself I can't seem to get rid of that label. And even though I know that I am doing that to myself, I still can't stop. And I'm trying. I really am. I do what to believe what everyone else sees in me, no matter how impossible it seems to me.
My tutor said that I just need the confidence in myself, to trust myself that I can answer the questions, that I am good at english. And I realised how true that is. These past few weeks, my confidence in my english has really gone down to a low, even lower that before, and it has really shown in terms of my marks. I need to believe in myself. Especially since my exams are coming up really soon. If there was a time that I really needed to look myself in the mirror and tell myself to snap out of it, it would be now.
I'm going to do it. No matter how long it takes, at the end of the battle, the winner of this internal battle of mine will definitely be the positive side. I want that confidence. No, I need that confidence and I need it now and I'm gonna fight until I get it.
So yeah, I was gonna talk about something else (which I have already forgotten), but I'm sure what I have already written is quite enough for one day. It's a lot to take in.
I wish everyone the best of luck for the up coming exams if you have any that is. And for all those people who have the same self esteem problems as me, I hope that we can all fight this internal battle of ours and come out victorious.
Fighting!
~Aurora
This probably doesn't really mean much but...
This is my 100th post!
Haha...I can't believe I've finally reached it. But hey, this doesn't really mean I'll be posting anything special in this post. It'll just be me rambling on about the discontents of my life. Keke..sorry if I got your hopes up ;)
So...my exams are coming up. Of course, I am absolutely petrified. Thinking about this past 2 weeks, staying after school to study. You would think I got a lot done but that is totally not the case. It was more of a maths session more than anything else and apart from a pretty effective business session one time, I have done nothing else. And it frustrates me to no end because I have wasted all this time and I've done practically nothing.
This time round, the exams are not like the ones I had previously done. These exams are the first ones that really count towards my HSC, towards my future and that really really scares the wits out of me.
Yesterday night, while laying in bed listening to some sad piano music (yes, I know it probably sounds very emo, but face it, that's my life :P), I started to think of what will happen to me in these exams. I really needed to kick myself in the ass for being so lazy all this time when I could've been doing some very productive things but I also knew that that would had no effect on me whatsoever and there was really no point in berating myself over something that I could not go back and fix. So instead, I made a vow to myself that I must start studying from the next day, which is today. And no, just because I am here right now writing a post, it does not mean that I have already given up on that vow. I will stick to it!
Too many times, I have made promises to myself that I never seem to be able to keep and time and time again I feel such disappointment with myself. This time, those feeling will not occur because I plan to keep my vow no matter what.
It was also yesterday and, actually, the past few weeks that I realised how important believing yourself really is. It is only through that strong belief that you have in yourself that you are able to gather up the confidence and thus, do well. Low self-esteem can really affect a person. And I know that everyone is probably aware of that, but to me, I realised just how big an impact one's self confidence can be.
Knowing me, you all should know that I have very bad self-esteem. I was recently talking to me friend as we were walking back from a study session and I was telling her about my low self-esteem.
I tend to be very harsh on myself, always setting really high goals that I must achieve. And while most of them time I don't achieve them, there are actually times that I do. And sometimes I really surprise myself at my ability to attain high results. And maybe it's because it's too surprising, but I overlook those excellent results and instead, I focus on the bad ones and just look down on myself. I guess, I can't really accept that I am smart no matter how many times people tell me I am and no matter how good my results are. Because tattooed to my heart, my mind are the words:
You are not smart
No matter how many times I prove to myself I can't seem to get rid of that label. And even though I know that I am doing that to myself, I still can't stop. And I'm trying. I really am. I do what to believe what everyone else sees in me, no matter how impossible it seems to me.
My tutor said that I just need the confidence in myself, to trust myself that I can answer the questions, that I am good at english. And I realised how true that is. These past few weeks, my confidence in my english has really gone down to a low, even lower that before, and it has really shown in terms of my marks. I need to believe in myself. Especially since my exams are coming up really soon. If there was a time that I really needed to look myself in the mirror and tell myself to snap out of it, it would be now.
I'm going to do it. No matter how long it takes, at the end of the battle, the winner of this internal battle of mine will definitely be the positive side. I want that confidence. No, I need that confidence and I need it now and I'm gonna fight until I get it.
So yeah, I was gonna talk about something else (which I have already forgotten), but I'm sure what I have already written is quite enough for one day. It's a lot to take in.
I wish everyone the best of luck for the up coming exams if you have any that is. And for all those people who have the same self esteem problems as me, I hope that we can all fight this internal battle of ours and come out victorious.
Fighting!
~Aurora
Friday, November 19, 2010
New blog!
Yes, you read right, I am starting a new blog! Of course, this does not mean that I am going to ditch this one but I've been thinking recently about this idea for a blog and I decided to go with it.
The link to my new blog is at the bottom of this post. Basically my new blog is a compilation of quotes created by ME! All of which are somehow linked to the things which I have learnt from school. I know that it sounds nerdy, but you can really learn a lot about life from some of the things you learn at school whether it is directly related to life or not.
I can't promise that I'll post one everyday but I'll try to keep it at a regular pace, or whenever I find something worth posting down. So you'll probably find that I'll be posting more often on the new blog than I am on this one. But no fear, all my personal, emotional and thoughtful things will still go in this blog :)
So yeah, go check out the new blog...although it looks rather empty since I just started it.
Alright, time to go.
~Aurora
Link to new blog :)
http://quotes-to-you.blogspot.com/
The link to my new blog is at the bottom of this post. Basically my new blog is a compilation of quotes created by ME! All of which are somehow linked to the things which I have learnt from school. I know that it sounds nerdy, but you can really learn a lot about life from some of the things you learn at school whether it is directly related to life or not.
I can't promise that I'll post one everyday but I'll try to keep it at a regular pace, or whenever I find something worth posting down. So you'll probably find that I'll be posting more often on the new blog than I am on this one. But no fear, all my personal, emotional and thoughtful things will still go in this blog :)
So yeah, go check out the new blog...although it looks rather empty since I just started it.
Alright, time to go.
~Aurora
Link to new blog :)
http://quotes-to-you.blogspot.com/
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Update #2
Yo!
I've suddenly got the urge to post something (cough *procrastinating* cough) Anyways. I thought I might give another little update on life.
Well, it's still horrible as ever. Tonnes of homework and not enough time. And exams are coming up! I'm sick and tired to working, never having a single time to myself. I know it's slightly my fault for leaving everything till the last minute and doing unnecessary things when I do have time to myself but still. I'm finding it extremely hard to cope and it's only just the beginning. I always try to brush my worries aside, telling myself that it'll be alright. And I try my best to be cheerful at school, even if it's for my friends' sakes because they are all worrying themselves without having to bear my troubles and worries as well. But it's getting really hard to stay happy when everything just keeps piling up on me. *I was going to make some kind of analogy here, but I couldn't think of a good one :P*
Also, today has been exactly one year since my grandmother had been buried. I know that it's not the actual day that she passed away, but the 11/11 really hits a nerve with me. When we had to observe a minutes silence at 11 at school today, I suddenly started to think of her. I nearly started to cry but I held it in because it would've been a little awkward.
So yeah, apart from worrying about school and everything, there isn't much to day. Besides, what else is there in my life right now apart from work? That's right, nothing. That just makes it all the more depressing.
Anyways, I better go and do some work now. Gotta do something productive.
~Aurora
I've suddenly got the urge to post something (cough *procrastinating* cough) Anyways. I thought I might give another little update on life.
Well, it's still horrible as ever. Tonnes of homework and not enough time. And exams are coming up! I'm sick and tired to working, never having a single time to myself. I know it's slightly my fault for leaving everything till the last minute and doing unnecessary things when I do have time to myself but still. I'm finding it extremely hard to cope and it's only just the beginning. I always try to brush my worries aside, telling myself that it'll be alright. And I try my best to be cheerful at school, even if it's for my friends' sakes because they are all worrying themselves without having to bear my troubles and worries as well. But it's getting really hard to stay happy when everything just keeps piling up on me. *I was going to make some kind of analogy here, but I couldn't think of a good one :P*
Also, today has been exactly one year since my grandmother had been buried. I know that it's not the actual day that she passed away, but the 11/11 really hits a nerve with me. When we had to observe a minutes silence at 11 at school today, I suddenly started to think of her. I nearly started to cry but I held it in because it would've been a little awkward.
So yeah, apart from worrying about school and everything, there isn't much to day. Besides, what else is there in my life right now apart from work? That's right, nothing. That just makes it all the more depressing.
Anyways, I better go and do some work now. Gotta do something productive.
~Aurora
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Update #1
Heya!
I decided I'd give little updates of my life every now and then just to give you guys an update on what's been going on in my life.
So...apart from the loads of work that I have to do, life has been pretty good. Laughing with my group at lunch times, being able to have fun, I can't seem to remember the last time I've laughed so much. I swear, I've laughed more times this past week than I have for a very long time. I'm glad those days are back, to be able to just forget everything and just enjoy my time with my friends laughing over trival things is really something that I love.
Also, being able to hang around people other than my group of friends, also laughing with them is a joy to me. I really appreciate and feel in debt to all the people who have made my school life so fun and happy, making me forget all the work, the tests, all the stress that comes with school. They bring the best out of me...and sometimes the naughty side :P.
Like in my double free period today. I was sitting with a bunch of friends (Susan, Joycelyn, Christy, Lina and Ling). And at first I was doing my work, but then Joycelyn who was sitting next to me asked me a maths question and we spent quite a while trying to figure it out. By the time we figured it out, I was in no mood to do any more of my maths tutoring homework and decided to draw Snoppy, which I promised last week I would draw for Susan. To bug Joycelyn too, I challenged her to draw Snoppy as well, claiming it was hard to draw. She took the challenge, saying it wasn't hard at all. I ended up drawing a very demented Snoppy (I told her it was hard!) and we ended up cracking up very hard just looking at my picture. Hehe. I then proceeded to joke with her, writing her name under the drawing, to pretend that it was Joycelyn who drew it. She, of course, tried to stop me by using my biggest weakness: my ticklish~ness. I ended up running around the table, trying to write down her name while she chased me. Hehe..I ended up writing both of our names. I still claim that my picture was unique, coz it created so much laughter :)
But yeah, times like those just make me smile in memory of it. Not to mention I can't help laughing at something funny at lunch and recess with my group of friends. They never cease to amuse me :) In a good way, that is.
But...I had a slight problem. There is this girl called Lina who I have wanted to befriend since the start of this year, coz she came at the start of this year as a new student. But till now, I still have not been able to befriend her. I have continuously bugged my friends about it, but to no avail. It seems as if I can never befriend her. And I often feel really bad because I know all of her friends and so when I am around her group, I tend to ignore her. I worry that she might think I hate her. Sigh...I wish I was more outgoing.
Other than that, life has been pretty good.
Aiya, I better go to sleep now. I'm gonna be a panda tomorrow! Hehe..
Night night lovely~s
~Aurora
I decided I'd give little updates of my life every now and then just to give you guys an update on what's been going on in my life.
So...apart from the loads of work that I have to do, life has been pretty good. Laughing with my group at lunch times, being able to have fun, I can't seem to remember the last time I've laughed so much. I swear, I've laughed more times this past week than I have for a very long time. I'm glad those days are back, to be able to just forget everything and just enjoy my time with my friends laughing over trival things is really something that I love.
Also, being able to hang around people other than my group of friends, also laughing with them is a joy to me. I really appreciate and feel in debt to all the people who have made my school life so fun and happy, making me forget all the work, the tests, all the stress that comes with school. They bring the best out of me...and sometimes the naughty side :P.
Like in my double free period today. I was sitting with a bunch of friends (Susan, Joycelyn, Christy, Lina and Ling). And at first I was doing my work, but then Joycelyn who was sitting next to me asked me a maths question and we spent quite a while trying to figure it out. By the time we figured it out, I was in no mood to do any more of my maths tutoring homework and decided to draw Snoppy, which I promised last week I would draw for Susan. To bug Joycelyn too, I challenged her to draw Snoppy as well, claiming it was hard to draw. She took the challenge, saying it wasn't hard at all. I ended up drawing a very demented Snoppy (I told her it was hard!) and we ended up cracking up very hard just looking at my picture. Hehe. I then proceeded to joke with her, writing her name under the drawing, to pretend that it was Joycelyn who drew it. She, of course, tried to stop me by using my biggest weakness: my ticklish~ness. I ended up running around the table, trying to write down her name while she chased me. Hehe..I ended up writing both of our names. I still claim that my picture was unique, coz it created so much laughter :)
But yeah, times like those just make me smile in memory of it. Not to mention I can't help laughing at something funny at lunch and recess with my group of friends. They never cease to amuse me :) In a good way, that is.
But...I had a slight problem. There is this girl called Lina who I have wanted to befriend since the start of this year, coz she came at the start of this year as a new student. But till now, I still have not been able to befriend her. I have continuously bugged my friends about it, but to no avail. It seems as if I can never befriend her. And I often feel really bad because I know all of her friends and so when I am around her group, I tend to ignore her. I worry that she might think I hate her. Sigh...I wish I was more outgoing.
Other than that, life has been pretty good.
Aiya, I better go to sleep now. I'm gonna be a panda tomorrow! Hehe..
Night night lovely~s
~Aurora
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
