"I don't wanna go to school!"

I dunno what was wrong with me today. I woke up like usual, but as I was brushing my teeth, I suddenly really felt like not going to school. I dunno what spurred it, but i suddenly really did not want to go to school. I walked into my sister's room and I asked her what I should do. But she was just like "If you don't wanna go to school then don't go to school". So I went to my mum's room and asked her if I could stay at home. She said "Don't go to school if you don't want to be don't come crying to me if you can't keep up at school"

For some reason, I felt really confused. Usually, I can just ask to not go to school and when they approve, just go striahgt back to bed. But today, I felt really confused. I couldn't decide on whether or not I should stay at home. And I know it was stupid of me but I just suddenly started crying because I just couldn't decide.

I went back into my mum's room and suddenly, when she came out of the toilet, I found myself bursting into tears and couldn't stop. It was like the dams burst. I just have a mental breakdown.

Now...I can assure you that it's not entirely because of what has been happening between my friends. Although, I can't lie, a little part of it was because I didn't wanna face the music. But as for what the actual reason for crying like there was no tomorrow, I seriously can't say why.

I think it this feeling has been building up ever since yr 11 started. With all this homework being thrust upon me, I felt so overwhelmed. I just couldn't organise everything and I was all over the place. But I pushed it aside and ignored it, not really confronting the actual problem and sitting down and trying to figure it out. The school problems just kept mounting. And then, the final straw came with this friend issue. Which eventually just tipped the whole mountain and caused me to have a mental breakdown.

I dunno, my heart just really hurt.

That's what I think happened, but I am not entirely sure myself. I think it has also got to do with my lack of sleep as well.

I've manage to do quite a bit of homework. And I'm planning to finish the rest of the chapter summaries before i begin to make notes for the english test. I'm just gonna take things slow. And hopefully, get a chance to just sit down and sort out my problems.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day

~Aurora