Time Heals Everything

Hi all!

Just felt like writing..so here i am.

As you all know, if you have read my latest post..that is, i have been feeling down at odd hours..haha, sounds weird. Well, as the title suggests, time does heal everything. I don't feel a hundred percent better and i have a fair long way to get there. But i suppose you could say that i am getting better. I still have strange urges to cry, and most of the time it's for unidentified reasons, but i've managed to hold it in. I know that crying is suppose to help but in my case, it sorta reminds me of how i am upset and everything. Whereas if i wasn't crying, i would at least be able to carry on with life.

Recently i finished reading 'P.S. I Love You', a book that my lovely friends gave to me for my birthday. From that book, in some way, i learnt to not take things for granted and to overcome my fear of doing something and just take the initiative to do it, just so that you won't regret it later. Haha..i know that i still have a long way to actually take that advice into stride but it's a pretty inspiring force just to hear and think about it. Like, to know that one day you'll be able to overcome the concept of fear and just dive head first and do things that you wouldn't ever dream of doing.

Other than that, friends help. I know that most would say family helps and everything. And i am really close to one of my sisters and i usually tell her everything. But i believe people do drift apart. Well...maybe not drift apart because we still are relatively close. However, i sometimes feel we don't have the same connection that we used to have. I find myself regularly disapproving some of the things she does and vice versa. And trust me when i say i have tried to talk to her. But i guess, she, like I, also have that problem of not being able to express herself. Or maybe she just doesn't know what to say. I don't blame her. She has her own problems to deal with and i suppose this one problem is something that i should take on myself. And the rest of my family is a total no-no. Not that they are bad or anything. But i guess, they won't understand. However, i am grateful towards all my friends! My heart goes out to them. For being so supportive (well..those that know anyways) and understanding. Sure they don't really do much. Can't help much actually, because i really don't expect them to understand what i am going through. I mean, how can they when i, myself, don't even know what it is that i am going through. But i am glad that they are there for me, just to listen to me and to let me have someone to talk to and let out all that has been bottled up inside of me. And so, for that, i am totally grateful.

However, i guess i expected the friends i talked to, to actually approach me at school and talk to me..you know? Just to ask how i was going or just to strike up a conversation. But they didn't, they just acted as if everything was normal. And, yea, i guess i understand that they have their reasons and that not everything revolves around me. I guess i was just hoping to get the reassurance that everything was going to okay in person..coz i usually told them online or something. But i'm not angry at them because they were still there for me and helped me through the rough times :)

Music is also another very useful source. Haha, i practically listen to it 24/7, 7 days a week. It helps me clear my thoughts and concentrate. And it's useful for when i'm bored. Haha, i am totally greatful to whoever introduced music and invented mp3s. What would i do without them? I especially love how there are different songs to suit my different moods. And some are really encourgaing for when times get rough. hahaha

So, i guess all i need to do now is look ahead. Live for the future. Or maybe, the present. I mean, the future is important, but what is most important is the present, the time in which you are suppose to live to your fullest coz there will never come another day like that. I shall relax, breeze through school, praying desparately for it to pass and then have the time of my life in the holidays. Time for myself, to find exactly what i want to do with my life, to hang out with my friends on a nice deserved break and to hang out with my family, the people i love the most :P.

Fighting!

~Aurora